Safe and Sound in Paris

I was going to do a teeny tiny post about being safe at some point, and now that I've read about poor Austin Bice, and have been advised "not to come home dead," I feel like this may be an appropriate time for some reminders.

The initial reason that I ever thought about posting something safety-related is that, before I left for Paris, I talked with a guy who was convinced the only thing that would happen to me here in Paris was getting mugged. And during the orientation for the program at school, the coordinator basically said "I guarantee that one of you will get robbed."
Well, it's not gonna be me. I hope.
And even if it is, the robber isn't going to get much because my account's just been leaking into sandwiches and books and stuff.

BRIEFLY ON BOOKS- (I just picked up Sense and Sensibility for a euro and 22 cents, because I've been tearing through books in English at hyperspeed- I think it's because English is becoming this completely useless, forbidden thing- and I figured I might use this newfound habit to read some classics. And who better to read in Europe than Jane Austen? Well I guess there's Hemingway, or Dickens if I were going to London or something...you know what, never mind. I just wanted to finally read Jane Austen.)

Anyway, here are some ways one can avoid trouble in Paris, or anywhere, really. Some are things I've been doing, some are things others have done, some are just random tips I've heard. Most of them apply to girls, but guys can use some of them too.

I'm generally not noticeable. Obviously this doesn't work for everyone, but it works quite well for me. I'm short and pale, I'm usually pretty quiet (unless someone makes me laugh). I wear a scarf and big sunglasses whenever suitable, and it usually is because the French love their scarves and fashionable shades. A lot of the time I wear baggy jeans- huge pockets come in handy. And for the time being, my hair is kind of short. Okay, so maybe what I should be saying is I don't look terribly girly- that's just me.
Also, I not only AM poor, but admittedly, I LOOK it. I don't usually have a bag, and when I do, it's this cheap touristy Paris bag I bought for 12 euros last summer. I definitely don't look rich.
There's lots of other stuff you can do, though, if you want to look pretty and girlie and maybe even rich! Walk fast, look confident, and try not to go off alone too often, especially if it's really late at night, and ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE INTOXICATED. I took the metro home drunk once and was very proud of myself afterward, but that isn't safe and certainly not something anyone should make a habit of. If you have to go home by yourself, try to take a route that's well-populated (not difficult to find in Paris). If there's another group of students nearby, stay close and pretend to be with them if possible.
A little more on the metro- I heard a self-defense guy say that if you see weirdos on the subway, just twitch a little and they'll leave you alone. I'm pretty sure that would work well here, as well as singing to yourself or talking to yourself, or saying something creepy about how well you know the Catacombs (which are really awesome, by the way). But again, if you don't want to look like a weirdo, there are other things you can do. One of my friends was hassled while walking alone through the metro at night and thinking fast, she whipped out her phone and pretended to be talking to someone. They backed off. And if you're in public when you're being hassled, you can just swear at them in their native language- everyone knows that when in a foreign country, you have to learn the swear words ASAP.
In the movie "Sabrina," Audrey Hepburn says "Never a briefcase and never an umbrella in Paris," but there's nothing wrong with having an umbrella (as long as it's chic of course. Mine is red and matches my sunglasses...which doesn't really make sense, come to think of it). Plus, I've read that you're less likely to be bothered if you're carrying something, like an umbrella, that could be used to defend yourself. Unfortunately I don't think a baguette works in this capacity, but you could always try.

Additionally- as far as not being robbed, I've been lucky. And as far as people asking for money, they're generally homeless people sitting on the sidewalk, accompanied by cute puppies or bunnies. Those people aren't going to get up to bother you (and seem pretty grateful when people do choose to give them money or food). But I HAVE had someone walk over and pester me for or try to grab at food I was carrying. If someone pesters you for money, food, or anything at all, just keep walking briskly and don't look at them. Unless they try to hurt you, then make sure you get a REALLY GOOD LOOK. A good enough look so that you could, say, point them out in a line-up.

For some worthwhile tips on avoiding bothersome people in general as well as swearing at them in French:

http://newyorkinparis.wordpress.com/2010/06/02/curses/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRXa971Xw0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npsHY8iezKI&feature=related


On the "getting in shape" front- I ran a little yesterday, until my asthma reared it's ugly head. Rather than make my exercise routine "Oh, I just run until I have an asthma attack!" I think I might try again avec my inhaler. I've never been a runner, but Paris just seems like the perfect place to try it- there's so much to see! It's the furthest thing from a treadmill (tredmill? I'm so unfamiliar with that machine that I can't even spell its name) I'm gonna get. I live across the rue from the Jardin du Luxembourg, for goodness sakes! Also I just ate part of this thing which is basically a huge piece of cake in a box. But it was really cheap at the Franprix (that's the grocery store I frequent- there are lots of others, Monoprix, 8aHuit, Carrefour, etc) and I was hungry. I bought a lot of fruit too...I think I found the most delicious grapes in France.
And two things I forgot to mention that you're gonna wanna try in Paris- Speculoos (a spread that looks like peanut butter and is best eaten with a spoon or on a crepe) and the Macarons (they look like Pretty Patties!) at La Duree.